Every New Year, one of the most common resolutions is weight-loss. As January begins, social media feeds are flooded with gym promotions, supplements that promise effortless results, and meal delivery services touting balanced macros. This social media craze centers on weight and appearance as top priorities. The New Year becomes synonymous with a new body and a new you.

Weight-loss resolutions are framed as hopeful and empowering. When someone does lose weight, the response is immediate and loud: “You look amazing!” “You’re so disciplined.” “Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”

The compliments pour in, and we feel good about it. Most of us appreciate recognition for our hard work. However, these compliments are only part of the story.

Diet culture has a quieter truth it doesn’t like to acknowledge: most diets fail. The praise fades as reality sets in—most people regain the weight. Not because they’re lazy, but because life stressors intervene, restrictive plans aren’t sustainable, and biological responses make maintenance difficult.

Studies show that only about 20% maintain significant weight reduction after a year or more. So, more than 80% of people regain most of their lost weight within 3 to 5 years, and a substantial portion regains even more than they initially lost. 

When that happens, the compliments inevitably fade—not because you changed as a person, but because your body did. Yet the silence that follows speaks volumes: You failed.

As someone who has struggled with my weight for most of my life, I’ve felt this cycle firsthand. When compliments disappear, most of us wonder if anyone sees past our physical appearance. Does gaining weight remove our value? Does gaining weight make us less worthy? This conditioning is neither helpful nor true, and I refuse to accept these outdated ideals.

This New Year, instead of another weight-loss resolution, I’m making a lifelong commitment not to comment on anyone’s body. Will some miss the body-based compliments? Maybe. But they won’t miss the silence—and that matters far more.

There are so many better things to notice—qualities that don’t come and go, but reflect who a person truly is. I choose to compliment: On kindness. On humor. On strength. On character. On style. The way they show up when things are hard. The way they make you feel when you’re together.

Planning a response to body-based compliments in advance can help reduce awkwardness and maintain your genuine voice. For example, if I receive body-based compliments in the future, I might choose to respond with:

• “Thank you — I’ve actually been focusing more on how I’m feeling lately, and I’m feeling really good.”
• “That’s kind of you. I’m focusing on valuing myself more than my weight these days.”

And if it keeps happening, I may set a gentle boundary with:

• “I know you’re being supportive, but comments about my body are hard for me.”

People deserve to be seen, valued, and celebrated for who they are, not for a number. This year and every year, let’s honor what truly lasts: kindness, care, and strength of character.

Resources & References

Phelan S, et al., “Long-term weight loss maintenance,” American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 2005.